Failure & 4 Questions to Ask Yourself! #2
Hi, it’s Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching, and I’m coming to you today with question two in our failure series. The first question I asked you was, what is failure anyway? We defined it as nothing more than actually a feeling that we have about something that did or didn’t work out the way we thought. When we have that in a true perspective, and when we recognize that failure at something, not doing something the way we thought, or it didn’t turn out the way we thought, when we recognize that that is nothing more than an opportunity to improve and do it again better, then you can truly embrace this next question, which is question number two, how can I fail faster? I know, I know, I know, I know that’s crazy, but listen, the sooner you can try something, do it, figure out what works and what didn’t work, and redo it and do it right, the sooner you get to success.
So often we put on the brakes, and we go so slow, and we hesitate so much to venture out into something new for fear of failure because of the way it’s going to make us feel. But when we can take that feeling out of the picture and say, you know what, I get to control how I feel, and right now what I choose to feel is excitement about the fact that I’m going to try this thing. It may not work out as I thought, and it’ll give me the opportunity to redo it and do it right better the next time. The sooner we can get there, the better. So when we recognize that failure is truly on the path all along the way to success, the sooner you get to those steps, the sooner you get to success. It’s like running a marathon.
Why in the world would you drag it out? Get it done, get to each milestone sooner so that you get to the finish line sooner. So the whole point is to ask yourself, how can I fail? So think about the next big thing you’re considering doing, that thing that you may be holding out on because you’re afraid of failure. Ask yourself, I’m going to go do it, ask yourself, how quickly can I get to failure so that I can learn what I need to learn so that I can get to success? That’s your question. Ask yourself, see what happens.
Failure & 4 Questions to Ask Yourself! #1
Hi, it’s Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching. And I would like to start a conversation with you about a subject that’s near and dear to my heart, and probably whether you like it or not, near and dear to yours. And that subject is one little tiny but very powerful word, failure. So we’re going to start by asking the very first question, what is failure anyway?
I think if you were to ask someone what failure is, the standard definition would be something not going right or not doing something right or something not working out as you planned. And yes, by standard definition, that is in fact what failure is. And yet, I think the thing that we fear when it comes to fearing failure or when it comes to feelings about failure, it isn’t so much the thing that happened or didn’t happen the way we thought, rather it’s the feeling that it created. And I’m going to go even one step further and say it’s not even the feelings, it’s the subconscious part, which is the story we told ourselves as a result of that thing working or not working.
Let me give you an example. You decide you want to learn something new. Let’s say you decide you want to learn how to play the piano, and so you start playing the piano and it doesn’t work out at all as you think. You aren’t able to learn a piece in a timeframe that you decided you wanted to and you didn’t learn it. You failed at playing the piano, okay. It’s not that you didn’t play the piano that is the big deal about failure, it’s that how it made you feel.
It’s a story you tell yourself. So you could tell yourself the story, I just suck. I am not musical. I never got the training I should’ve gotten. I’m too old. I’m not worthy of learning to play the piano. I’m frustrated. I’m angry at myself. I’m dumb. And those stories create feelings and that’s what we try to avoid when it comes to failure. That’s the thing we fear about failure. Not so much the thing that didn’t happen or did, not the way you expected.
So let’s be very clear that failure is not an actual occurrence. Failure is how we respond to the thing happening or not happening. And the good news is you get to control that, and we’re going to talk a lot more about that in the coming weeks. So for right now, I just want you to ask yourself, in your life, in regards to past and future and today, what is failure really anyway? Let’s just start there.
Inspect what you Expect
Hi, I’m Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching and we have been talking about success through others. And very specifically people leverage, in other words, leading and influencing other people to be leveraged for you in your business so that you can operate fully within your strengths while giving other people the opportunity to do things that you may not be so great at but they are.
Now, I want to talk to you today about one of my favorite quotes and that is, “Inspect what you expect.” If you want to get really great at leadership and leading and helping other people be successful, you have to learn that when you leverage out a task or some weakness of yours, when you hand it off to someone else that has perhaps that strength, you’ve got to be prepared to follow up and to inspect what you expect. Whenever you delegate tasks or delegate jobs or roles, you’ve got to be willing to have the accountability piece to follow up and follow through to make sure that it’s being done to your satisfaction.
I coach a lot of team leaders and rainmakers that end up hating leverage because they give a task, they give a role, they find a person, they hire them, and then they are unwilling to hold them accountable to what they want. And it ends up being more work than it’s worth and they throw up their hands and say, “I’m no good at this.” It doesn’t have to be like that.
If you time block to inspect what you expect, you can find success in leveraging others to do the things you may not be so great at, okay? It’s really just about time blocking. It’s about having open communication, but being willing to follow up and follow through on the things that you’ve delegated. Don’t be lazy, just do it. It’s going to end up benefiting you in the end, and definitely is better service and leadership to the people that you lead.
I hope this has helped. I’m always available for questions and comments about anything that I talk about here on our series and I look forward to sharing more with you soon. Take care.
The Paradox of the Balcony and the Basement
Hi. I’m Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching, and we have been talking about success through others, one of my favorite subjects. Now, before you can really understand how to help others be successful, you really have to understand yourself, and the way you start that is by asking yourself, “What are my strengths?” or asking others, “What are my strengths?” I think, deep down, we all know what we’re good at, and we all know where we shine. I like to call that your balcony. It’s that thing that everyone knows you for. It’s perhaps that thing that you’re most proud of, that you can do in your sleep, that gives you joy. That is your strength.
Now, the thing you need to know is that to every single strength in every balcony, there is a basement, meaning if you use, if you overuse one of your strengths, it can easily become a weakness. You see this in so many people’s lives, and, in coaching, I see this all the time. People will overuse a strength to their detriment.
Let’s take an example. Let’s take the example of the strength of organization. This is a thing that causes a person to always be on time, to have everything orderly, to be properly neat, people come to this person for help in organizing, they’re known to be a very organized person. Great, that’s a strength. Where it is a weakness, a basement, is when that person with that strength is unable to move forward in life if things aren’t perfectly organized. If that person finds themselves constantly trying to organize things before they take action, they may find they take no steps forward, and so they end up getting stuck. That’s using a strength, overusing a strength to the point of becoming a weakness. It’s almost like your Achilles heel if you will.
I call this the paradox or the balcony in the basement. It’s something to be aware of when you’re leading others and asking for other people to be leverage for you in different areas of your life. Know your strengths, understand how to use them in direct proportion to your life so that you’re using them the right way and not to your detriment.
I hope this helps. I hope it’s given you something to think about until next time.
Being a Control Freak
Hi, this is Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching, and we are working inside of a series right now called Success Through Others. And when we break it down, the very first thing we’re talking about is leverage. People leverage. Now, what do I mean by that? I mean using other people’s skills and strengths strategically to help you achieve a goal.
The very first thing that you have to do if you want to successfully employ people leverage, is you’ve got to let go of control. I know so many of my clients, and I know I, identify with the statement, “I’m a control freak.” Well, the truth is you’re going to have to let go of control if you want to allow other people to help you move the ball forward. The reason we control things is that we think we’re the very best at everything. And, the chances are you probably are pretty good at whatever it is you’re doing because you are the closest to it. You have the most skin in the game. The truth is, there’s probably someone out there that can really help you be even better at that. And so, the goal is to find that person, strategically choose what it is that you’re going to do the best, and let other people do the other things better, or good.
Now, there are three things I want you to think about when it comes to letting go of control. Number one, not everything is of equal importance. So, look at the list of things that you need to do and decide: what am I best at, and where can I prioritize for myself and give off the rest to someone else that could do it better? The second thing is, you cannot do all the things. You are a human with finite time and finite energy, so choose well. The third thing is that perfect is the enemy of done. If you are holding onto things because you want it done perfectly, you’re never going to get it done.
So, in order for us to really be able to move forward and successfully use leverage, we’ve got to learn to let go of control. We’re going to be digging in a little bit deeper to leverage in the next few series, so I hope you’ll join us.
Intro to the Success Through Others Series
Hi, this is Jennifer Henry with Compass Coaching. One of my favorite life principles is #successthroughothers. I don’t know when or where or how I discovered it but somewhere along the way in the last few years of business, I discovered that it’s a whole lot more fun and a whole lot more fulfilling in business if I’m always working to help those around me be better. By default, I will be better and I will find success if I find other people find theirs. That’s where this principle of success through others comes in. That’s what we’re going to be speaking about this month, in this series that we’re working on called Success Through Others.
Now, one of the key points of Success Through Others is learning how to properly use leverage to get done, the things that you want to get done. Leverage is using other people’s strengths as a lever to move a bigger task, to help you achieve, to help you move forward. Man, that’s not easy to do. It requires very strategic leadership and very strategic influence and a heart that wants others to succeed in order to truly influence people to help you achieve a goal that starts with their goal. Really, the principle of Success Through Others is gold when it comes to business. Not only does it free you from this constant desire and push and drive for your own success, it gives you so much more fulfillment when you see other people achieve there’s first and then you just trust and know that your own success will follow.
We’re going to be digging in to the concept of leverage and using people’s skills and strengths to help you achieve your goals because in this world, no one succeeds alone, not even the most talented, succeeds alone. There’s always someone or someones that have helped them maximize their potential and move to the next level. Who has that person been for you? A better question is, who could you be that for? These are questions that we’re going to be digging into in the next few weeks. I’m looking forward to it.